Last Year's Resolution
by t. loessin
In 2024 I am recommitting myself to the same resolution I made last year - to adopt the practice of social and media asceticism.
I made great strides in 2023 remaining faithful to those goals but wasn't consistently successful. This year I aim to be more consistent. Why am I recommitting myself to this same resolution? Because practicing social and media asceticism made me a much happier and fulfilled individual.
You're wondering, as usual, what the hell is Terry on about? What is asceticism? What is social and media asceticism? Before I define it, let me explain the most recent motivation for this.
I was standing around a group of men at a holiday party and it was becoming increasingly clear by the direction the dialogue had turned that I was no longer in my element.
A pronoun that has become all too familiar with this group, "they," was being fired with the rapidity of the very automatic weapons they were defending.
"They wanna take away our guns...
(Well, we've all learned by now who the great evil "they" are -- Liberals who've been demonized by the Right ever since the Reagan era decided we were the folks to blame for their unceasing pity party. So, let's set the record straight.
No, sir, only your military assault weapons that are being used to cancel the lives of hundreds of people each year, including a great many schoolchildren. And, while we're at it, the 800 rounds of ammunition you're storing up in your asinine bunker. You see, it only takes a single shot from a sensible rifle to kill your deer -- if you're the decent hunter you claim to be);
they wanna take away our right to pray in public...
(No, sir, folks of every religious stripe have the right to pray any time in America - but you might wanna read up on how the good Lord wanted his followers to do it in Matthew 6 - silently, and not in public);
and, they hate it if you say Merry Christmas...
(Sir, I don't even know where to begin with the stupidity of this idea your echo chamber keeps spreading. FOX spreads it every year to stir up its senseless sheep. The fact of the matter is our side is the only side comfortable enough saying Merry Christmas as much as we are with saying Happy Hannukah, Happy Ramadan, Happy Cinco de Mayo and Happy Kwanza! Hell, we love any party! It's you guys that can't see beyond your own party and have the arrogance to think you alone were given the correct directions!)
And then it happened, he dropped the latest of the catch phrases this segment of American society are regularly handed by their favorite blowhards on talk radio, social media, and FOX.
They latch on to these sophomoric phrases, the latest weapons in the arsenal of their political party's propaganda machine like good soldiers and dutifully fire them in to conversation at every opportunity to advertise their allegiance, phrases like:
"liberal agenda" (as if we liberals have even seen this epic document that stirs such ridiculous animosity among them);
"snowflake" (a term I wear as a badge of honor that, like my Christian cross, reflects the snowflake values of compassion, justice, love, and peace that I cherish);
and now this latest one they've latched on to (and he said it with such a sneer) --
"this is what the cancel culture is doing to America."
My head reared back (a reflex I have had little success in eliminating over the years, a "tell" to my close friends that the mic is about to drop in the room) and I said, "I know exactly what you mean,"
here I paused for effect, because clearly they were surprised to hear for the first time from the guy wearing a tad too tight pair of jeans and too much jewelry, and likely even more surprised he was in agreement with them...
or was he?
"I too am sick of the cancel culture -- of the Right. They -"
another pause as I momentarily relished this rare opportunity for me to use this collective pronoun so cherished by the self-righteous,
"they persist in their agenda to cancel uncomfortable truths in our history textbooks like slavery being a cause of the Civil War, or acknowledging that in our quest to liberate and democratize others the U.S. has also been guilty of war crimes in our military campaigns;
they rush to cancel any curriculum that might teach their children that this nation was founded on liberal principles by enlightened men long-weary of wars over religion who therefore guaranteed in this nation the free exercise of all faiths and wisely insisted we separate one another's free conscience over such matters from matters of state;
they, akin to Hitler and Putin, seem to believe if you cancel a people's culture you can eliminate any evidence those people ever existed and so they push their agenda to cancel the word homosexuality from the English lexicon and from libraries on campuses of learning assured that every gay person will then simply disappear or, in the least, get back in the closet where they belong;
they've made it clear America is solely their America, their destiny, and the rest of us need to fall in line in their ultimate quest to cancel, denounce every other religion but their own evangelical Protestantism so they can dictate when and where we pray as well as how - insisting we all bow our heads while they address that prayer to Jesus rather than the Main Dude that Jesus taught us to address our prayers to;
they want us to believe they're the party of libertarianism whose main aim is to keep government out of people's lives when in truth they do nothing but campaign on those very intrusions and legislate on them - what schools are allowed to teach, what people are allowed to read, what medical advances people can opt to include in their healthcare decisions, who people are allowed to love, and the private reproductive choices a woman is allowed to make for herself.
Thank you, Sir, I could not agree with you more. I too am sick of the cancel culture of the Right in this country."
I sat the mug of cider I had only moments ago so enjoyed down on the kitchen counter and made my exit.
I drove home angry, mostly at myself for not having removed myself from that group of people and their conversation earlier. Angry that I allowed to enter into my self these negative emotions and for reacting in the manner that I did.
The next day I received a phone call from that holiday party's host. "What happened? You left and the rest of the evening I kept hearing murmurs about the crazy liberal in the kitchen who got his feelings hurt and made a scene."
I replied, "Nothing happened, I was just reminded why I'm recommitting myself to the same New Years' resolution I made last year. My social and media asceticism. And that meant it was time for me to leave."
"What the hell is that?"
"Well, if you really wanna know, read my blog's January Meditation."
And I hung up.
So, here we are. Let’s begin by defining the term.
Asceticism comes from the Greek word askeĊ: “to exercise,” or “to train” and the term refers to a conscious choice by an individual to practice denial – that is, the denial of specific desires in order to attain a spiritual ideal or goal.
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| The Virtues of Asceticism |
Throughout history hardly any religion has been without at least traces or some features of ascetic practitioners -- think Buddhist monks, the Essenes in Judeo-Christian history, or other groups that withdrew from society into residences meant to foster inner contemplation and spiritual growth.
While the religious viewed this practice of
self-discipline as a path to spiritual enlightenment or a way to get to a
closer connection with the divine, others in our past have viewed ascetic
practice as a method to gain control over human desires and impulses,
developing a deeper sense of inner peace, discipline, and self-mastery.
Well, as it happens, asceticism
has not disappeared. Present day forms
of discipline are centered around things like keeping fit, including rigorous
workouts or going to the gym, and controlling one’s diet. And, yes, still
today many practice the discipline because they are seeking some spiritual
goal.
MY PERSONAL GOAL:
At age 50 I began to reflect on the kind of thinking
and particular things in my own life that I knew were unhealthy and that I
wanted to eliminate – believing that, in doing so, I could improve not only my
physical health but, as well, my psychological and emotional well-being. Hopefully, in turn, by eliminating those thoughts
and things, I can improve the quality of my relationships with others – and
this includes my relationship to the eternal Spirit I accept as present in my
life and in all living things.
Have I been 100% successful in abstaining from those unhealthy
things and thoughts – no.
But I have not let that deter me from choosing to reset
and begin again each time with more determination.
Because I have found great benefits in my personal life
in this practice, I felt compelled finally to talk about it in this month's
Meditation. I also want to share with
you what the science says regarding the benefits of ascetic practice.
Lest I risk boring you with my own personal baggage – big reveal here:
I have struggled with my share of addictions, in two separate decades of my life - in my 20s and again they suddenly resurrected in my 40s.
During those two crazy chapters of my life story I could find
little time for exercise and the time required in the kitchen for healthy meal
preparation and so the combination of the unhealthy diet, lifestyle and risky
behaviors were detrimental.
Hitting rock bottom at 50 and finding
myself in a terrible life situation, with all of the external consequences of
my behavior encircling me, I began doing some much-needed internal soul
searching. How had I fallen this far?
What was really going on inside me, in my head, that led me down
this path?
I'm not sure this will be understood but I discovered there is great irony in the rare reward the outcast finds in his forced, then relished solitude.
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| Diogenes - Outcast, Cynic, Ascetic |
If you have any interest in
pursuing an ascetic discipline in your own life, know that this is the first
step that I recommend:
Identify
why you need such challenging practice in your life – what is it you’ve noticed
about yourself, your thoughts, your physical and emotional health that you know
needs changing
and ask yourself if you are truly ready to
change that and commit to this method of personal self-control. If the answer is yes, then here is the next
step:
Love Yourself Enough to Eliminate the
Distractions in Your Life
You're not going to like hearing this, much
less doing this. Your friends and family
are not going to understand and you may lose a few along the way. Are you ready for that?
You must eliminate unhealthy
distractions – and it won’t be easy. Before I identify the specific distractions, I want to tell you about my process.
Difficult, yes, but I personally have had a very rewarding experience in this process. By eliminating former distractions – and, let’s face it, that’s what those unhealthy addictions were – I then found myself more and more appreciative of the quality time I now spend in solitude.
It
is AMAZING what all I have been able to accomplish - in my home, on the
property, checking off my bucket list of remodeling projects, books, trips, and income-generating
activities.
As well, I began doing a lot of meditation and reflection. For example, I reflected on my ages of early development in that wonderful home I grew up in that, like all homes, had its human flaws. I reflected on the beliefs and mindset that formed as a consequence during those developmental years and that began guiding my choices in school, work, and play and, ultimately, formed my own unique outlook/perspective/worldview.
Not all bad.
But to be honest, I could now see the aspects of my thinking that were at
the root of my bad choices.
One of the many revelations that came from
this -- and perhaps the most surprising for someone with my ego -- was the
masked self-loathing I carried inside. That
revelation (and here I have to credit a dear personal friend of mine for
helping to bring that acknowledgement to the surface) would inevitably lead to
the necessary work I knew I had to begin.
Mental work and relationship work
addressing repressed emotions like shame, guilt, and anger. I became aware through study and inner
contemplation that only in addressing that past -- which meant doing the
difficult thing of forgiving others and forgiving myself -- could I then move
forward and truly care about my self
again and cease in my destructive behaviors.
However, it wasn’t enough to eliminate the unhealthy addictions I mentioned,
then I began to recognize all the other distractions that were keeping me from
living a life truly in alignment with my spiritual values.
It is not enough to simply say, “I have
faith," or "I follow such-and-such faith.”
Dedication to the teachings and practice of any spiritual faith requires
courage and strength and discipline – and all of that is tied up in your
thoughts and actual behaviors. If your
thinking and behavior are at odds with the teachings of the faith you say you
follow, you’re a hypocrite. And if you
don’t love your self - who you actually are as a human being - then you’re not
going to be motivated to live in the way that your faith requires.
Spend a moment reflecting on this next sentence of mine. It's a mouthful, so dissect it in parts:
If we don’t truly love who we actually are
then we are incapable of attaining the motivation and courage required to live
out our convictions (beliefs) that, de facto, generate the personal integrity
and happiness that define a meaning-full life.
How can one be happy with themselves, love
themselves truly, if deep down inside they know they're not living out or
speaking words aligned to what they say they believe?
Living a life aligned to one’s spiritual
values requires eliminating distractions – those things and people that pull
you in an opposing direction.
Get rid of the
distractions! Here I am meaning what
we take into our gut and in to our mind:
#1. Step away from the News, especially the angst-inducing reports on social media platforms (mostly fake stories meant to stir up your negative emotions).
One of the best books I’ve read is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The most helpful thing I got from the book and I use it all the time is the wisdom about the circles – you know, there is the circle we live in where there are the things we can control, and then there’s that outer circle with all the things we have no control over. You cannot control what has happened, it's in the past, and you cannot control what people are going to do. You can only control how you react and what choices you make. So stop worrying about everything around you.
Understand that and learn to move on from all the superfluous noise you’re being bombarded with on news and social media and you’ll find yourself much happier.
Media asceticism is an attempt to control the flow of information we consume through digital channels. People can completely reject social networks or limit the time spent on them. Media asceticism also includes the filtering of news and the development of personal rules for consuming news such as paying attention to the sources of your information, the clear bias of that source, and the integrity and credibility of the journalism.
I love my family very much. They stood by me in that low period I spoke of earlier. But I quickly learned in the adoption of my new practice and goals that it would be necessary to distance myself from certain individuals – acquaintances and family members – whose worldviews and talk ran counter to my own spiritual discipline.
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| Not letting toxic words & behaviors spread or appear "acceptable" in your family, in your workplace... begins with you. |
Social asceticism, much like media asceticism,
seeks to abstain from harmful voices entering our head. The point is to filter
social connections and revise social circles, removing unnecessary people – for
example, those who one finds ideologically incompatible, or simply those whose
company is not as pleasant as it once was. Based on the logic of social
asceticism, one should not accept all invitations, and it is best to avoid meeting
toxic relatives.
Quality of communication is
more important than quantity alone.
As someone who fears the early onset dementia that struck my parents, I know
about the importance of socialization.
And so there is this constant tension/weighing that I do regarding yes,
Terry, you need to engage with others in socialization, but also I am being
tempered in that goal with my increased awareness of words and viewpoints that I
now intentionally choose not to absorb.
· #3. Curb those desires for physical self-gratification that we know are short-lived and only lead to my wanting more in
quantity or frequency.
 |
| Desire Causes Suffering |
Fasting is usually associated with the ascetic discipline and I’ll share this personal anecdote: After getting clean and healthy again, at 53 I began a health regimen that included going back to the gym, strict diet, and a 72 hr. fast performed every 3 weeks. The first time I did the fast I thought I was going to die - it was awfully hard. Yet, so it was that at 53 – 58 I was the leanest and most defined physically than I had ever been in my life. And I felt great!
Motivating me then and even today - because I still regularly engage in periods of caloric restriction [CR] - was what I read about the association between CR and both mental acuity and the aging process.
Religious ascetics, often living in monastic communities, have provided long-term opportunities to observe the effects of CR, or fasting, in humans. Tibetan medicine has made use of observations, which include that of enhanced immune function, in its dietary prescriptions. In the hopes of reaping these benefits for the general population, scientists focusing their research on the aging process are touting the benefits of CR. To learn more about the fascinating revelations medical science has discovered related to the benefits of CR and/or fasting, I encourage you to see: https://myacare.com/blog/caloric-restriction-and-longevity-how-less-equals-more-over-a-lifetimez and https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19735237/
 |
| 9 Ways to Eat Clean |
I do my best to engage in Clean eating, usually defined as the practice of avoiding refined sugar
and processed foods. Adherents of this practice prefer to eat
whole foods, preferably farm-based and organic, and refuse to consume fast food
and junk food, processed foods, canned food, industrial sweets and pastries,
and even juices from the package. They avoid dining out and try to cook at home to know the exact
composition of the dishes and eat only freshly prepared food. Without a doubt I know this has made a huge difference -- in my energy level, my clarity from morning til nighttime, and my cholesterol levels!
SUMMATION
are built on our desire for things and experiences
that we do not have...
that have evolved in human history
instructs us to eliminate our desires..."
"The Four Stages of Desire,"
Psychology Today; October 2015.
In our modern society, ongoing overstimulation is often seen as
the ultimate path to happiness. As a result, people frequently engage in
overeating, drinking, purchasing unnecessary items,
smoking, taking drugs, and engaging in promiscuous behavior because they
believe they need these stimuli to feel happy.
However, when this high level of stimulation is absent or decreases, particular as we grow older, individuals may feel as though something is lacking in their lives. They may believe that they are not living life to the fullest, leading to unhappiness and a continuous desire to maintain high levels of stimulation. This cycle of overstimulation ultimately leads to unhappiness, as it is both impractical and often impossible to sustain a high level of stimulation indefinitely. Despite this, many unhappy individuals still attempt to do so, resulting in emotional exhaustion, self-destructive behaviors, and an unsustainable lifestyle.
That is what happened to me.
Asceticism offers an alternative perspective by helping individuals find contentment with relatively low levels of stimulation. By embracing simplicity and not feeling the need to constantly pursue extraordinary experiences, ascetics can find happiness and satisfaction regardless of the amount of activity in their lives.
One final point - regarding Pain. Asceticism is sometimes clarified and divided into two
types:
- Natural asceticism–
a way of life in which the material aspects are reduced to the utmost
simplicity and minimum, but without the mutilation and severe austerities
from which the human body suffers.
- Unnatural asceticism–
a practice that involves self-infliction of pain, such as sleeping on
nails or self-mutilation.
So, what about the benefits of enduring some pain in our lives? Might I suggest there can be benefit in creating a new relationship with pain or discomfort in your life in order to achieve a long-range goal or a deeper sense of appreciation for something. Asceticism teaches individuals to be comfortable with certain levels of pain and discomfort, which in turn makes other forms of pain less significant.
For example, if breaking a favorite tea cup
would have previously caused great distress, an ascetic mindset allows for the
ability to replace it without dwelling too much on the loss. I
personally like to make it a goal to keep my electric bill low and can
appreciate attaining that goal by sacrificing the use of my HVAC unit as long
as I can tolerate either in the summer or winter!
These are my reasons for recommitting myself to ascetic practice, in particular social and media asceticism. By denying myself certain worldly pleasures and rejecting toxic voices
I find I am able to better focus on my internal spiritual life and enriching my mind – through meditation, reading philosophical or theological essays, and my own writings - as well as accomplish a list of practical goals with home and property. This is probably why asceticism can be found in virtually every culture and religion worldwide throughout history –
it creates the space and opportunity in one’s life to accomplish not only practical goals, but fosters higher pursuits and contemplations.
_________________________
December, 2023
The Message I Find in the Familiar Story
November, 2023
Personal Responsibility
Sept/Oct, 2023
God Gifts Us With A Tomorrow
July, 2023
The Leopard and the Cow
February, 2023
In an Age of Division Can We Find Our Way
To Love and Accept Everyone?
January, 2023
What Do You Know About the Man?
______________________________________
More of Terry's Written Works
History:
Favorite Articles:
Terry’s “Good Living” Guide:
Avoid the 3 PsBsSs
Processed Foods, Phthalates, Plastics;
Beef, Butter, Breads;
you’ll be feeling better in no time!
Avoid the 3 F’s
misinformation, fear, anger and hate!
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